by Vania Pokraeva
Why do we feel the need to be on top of our game every hour, every day and basically all the time?
How do we manage to smile through an impossibly busy day? From juggling work and family life, children’s ‘drama’ and homework, to saying yes to a proposal at work, all this in a work’s day and while trying to be positive. Because mind you, positivity is what opens doors to new adventures or possibilities, not yet another grumpy face!
What triggers this drive to be the best in our work, the best parent, the best partner, the most engaging friend, the one who delivers an awesome job, the one who is always a pleasant company and always ready to lend a helping hand to colleagues, friends and family? Whose and what race are we running? And most importantly are we winning or losing at this game of keeping up appearances?
What would happen if we just stepped back, took a deep breath and asked ourselves the question why am I wired that way? Who is giving us this gentle and sometimes terribly hard push to accomplish more, be more, search more, ask more? Why are we on this pedestal of being awesome in everything?
Or could it be only me?
The answer is never simple and easy. Searching for answers I went on a reflection journey analyzing my own behaviour, upbringing and personal experiences especially in this past year.
Growing up in Eastern Europe during the 80’s and the 90’s I was brought up with the notion that I could be anything I wanted, "Nothing wrong with that" you would say, it is even a commendable socio-cultural upbringing nowadays.
"What was the catch" you would ask? I had to be good not only at one thing, but at everything! Math, literature, chemistry, painting, languages, you name it, I had to excel at everything, and I was not the only one, this was my whole generation.
Of course, the reality of it was that not many people can excel at everything, it is just that you have this pressure all the time. So, would that mean naturally that I have to be awesome at every role I have in my life? The role of a mother, employee, partner, friend, relative.
Learning and adapting to the western (work) culture brought a different spin to the understanding of the concept of being awesome: the individual abilities, knowledge and accomplishments are for quite some people a measure of success, making the ‘race’ to be great at everything a very real struggle.
So, what do we do?
A kind of an answer presented itself last year with the outbreak of a global pandemic. Everything changed. It worked as a catalyst: some aspects of being the best and awesome had even accelerated to unbelievable speed and depth, working from home made some things easier, but excelling at everything suddenly was very hard, challenging, stressful, emotional and dare to say for the first time not even necessary. Results are visible in the increase of burnouts in the workforce worldwide. On the other hand, some people searched for answers within themselves, discovering the joys of creativity, starting new hobbies, getting healthier, enjoying a simple walk outside with the family or friend.
One thing I learned is how resilient I am and can be, adjusting to whatever rules and conditions are presented to us. Another vital lesson I learned the hard way is that it is OK to be grumpy, miserable and not bursting out with positivity all the time. Accepting that doing absolutely nothing once in a while on your day off is allowed and may just help me being more awesome and more productive in the long run.
Yes, I said more awesome, you heard that right, I still want to win that 'race'😉
So, whatever you are doing right now, stop and reflect on your work or family situation and who knows maybe you also need a break from being awesome, just saying...
Go blossom!
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