The art of listening and why it matters?

Later in the evening, reflecting on my day full with online meetings, I started thinking about the meaning of active listening and why does it happen so often that during a meeting a lot of people talk, say their piece and at the end of it there are still misunderstandings or unclarity of what the next steps are.  

Could it be that while we are so focused on saying what we prepared for, we pay less attention to the dynamic of the speaker, the group, the different perspectives and are not open to receiving new information at all, let alone reach an agreement on a difficult topic?  

How often have you heard the expression: “I just want to make sure we are on the same page?” 

The ability to communicate effectively whether with your colleague, manager, partner or a child is essential for creating a successful and respectful relationship. It can enhance your productivity, bring you closer to your goals and believe me, it can possibly spare you a lot of misunderstandings and headaches.  

This ability is even more crucial nowadays when the new remote way of working is becoming more and more the new standard; then throw homeschooling in the mix and then you have a recipe for a potential disaster.

Simply taking a step back and considering the following tips how to create a more effective way for successful communication might just help you in your daily interactions.  

Five tips how to enhance your listening skills: 

Understand the purpose of your meeting

This can be applied in work meetings as well as having a casual chat with a friend or a family member. First of all, ask yourself the question: “What is the nature of this meeting/chat?" Is it to exchange information (Q & A format), present different points of view, or is the purpose to drive towards a decision needed to be taken, are you being asked for your expert opinion/advice?  This is a simple trick to get you started with this process, consider applying it to your next work meeting or chat with your partner. Having clarity on the purpose will help you understand what is expected from you and will guide you both in the desired outcome whether giving advice, reaching a consensus or simply understanding the various viewpoints. 

Encourage the speaker to discuss his/her ideas openly

By allowing your counterpart to talk freely without being interrupted and without their views being continuously questioned, you will create a safe environment where they can share their wildest ideas that otherwise would never have made the cut to be even put on the table. 

Show the speaker that you are listening

Actively listening is not only about hearing what is being said, but also about being able to understand the emotions of the speaker. By making an eye contact, nodding occasionally or simply asking questions, you are showing that you are engaged with the speaker and you are able to interpret the message and what it means to the speaker. Ultimately this engagement creates trust and eases any tension that the speaker might have. 

Observe non-verbal communication

This is just as important as verbal communication, in some situations probably even more crucial. Carefully observing the speaker’s body language, facial expression and listening to the tone of voice can tell you a lot about the emotions of the speaker, his/her state of mind and what they truly think about a certain topic; if they are an advocate for it or they oppose it. This is still very much possible during an online meeting, with camera's on of course!

Summarize what is being said and ask for confirmation

By occasionally summarizing what is being said in the conversation, you are establishing a rapport with the speaker and show not only that you are actively listening, but you are also fully engaged in the conversation. 

In the end you have established trust and have shown respect for the speaker’s ideas or opinion. 

Give it a try and tell us in the comments how you did! 

Go blossom!