By Vania Pokraeva & Tricia Kidd
Having an inspiring boss can leave a memorable mark on your career, sometimes giving you exactly the push you needed to grow in the right direction. Then you feel like you can fly, all these endless opportunities waiting for you to grab them, and you end up forever grateful!
The other scenario, having a ‘difficult’ boss is less cheerful and can also leave a memorable mark: it could have been a result of a clash of personalities, or vision, or simply misunderstanding.
Teacher and a student
The relationship with a manager resembles in many ways a relationship between a student and his/her teacher. In its simplicity, it is supposed to be a safe and positive environment to learn, grow, make mistakes, fall, cry and then stand up and continue with a head held high. You as a student feel seen and encouraged in your learning journey.
However, it always comes down to how you are perceived, does the teacher appreciates your bright mind or creativity through the noise: when you are sometimes a little loud in class, occasionally being rebellious and so on. How is it possible that one teacher can see and praise you for your ‘emotional intelligence’ to your parents? Then couple of months later, when the new school year starts, your new teacher doesn’t see your ‘emotional intelligence,’ but he talks with your parents about how easily you are influenced by others. ‘Like, seriously what happened?’, you are still the same person!
Tuning in
It is true that sometimes you can have that instant click with somebody who can almost read your thoughts, knows what points you want to make at that important presentation and supports you all the way. It is a beautiful thing and then the blossoming and growth take place naturally!
The reality is that doesn’t happen that often during one’s career.
We are all human
Although we all like to think that we have superpowers, just like you, your boss is also human and has their good days when they feel empowered and fearless. But sometimes they may have bad days when they may feel insecure or threatened. Acknowledging that your manager is just like you, is an important step. You can still learn from them because they may have more experience than you or have a useful and different viewpoint. Stay open minded and take the time to understand what you can learn from them and how they can help you in your learning journey.
Build a partnership
Working towards building a partnership based on mutual respect and equality will help you have a productive relationship with your manager. A good manager will not put you down or patronize you. They will see you as an equal human being, on a slightly different path. They also need the relationship to work, because if you are successful and thriving, then your boss is successful and thriving.
If you feel that you and your boss do not share mutual respect, then it is time to take action. You don’t have to do anything immediately, but you do need to set your sights on somehow influencing the relationship for positive change or changing your position to a more beneficial one.
Add comment
Comments